I'm supposed to...

1. be working
It's a bright sunshiny Sunday. Quite unusual since it's been raining everyday for the past couple of weeks. Had our usual Sunday breakfast in a restaurant - today, it was at a hole-in-the-wall place called "Dragon House" along M.H. Del Pilar in the City of Manila. Dragon House has THE best meatball congee in the entire world. Their pork siomai recipe came from the gods. Total bill for breakfast: PHP576.00. That's about US$13.00... for five people with very very full stomachs.

Those are two good reasons why I'm blogging instead of working. It's too great a day to be thinking about sales reports...

2. be laundering my ball gown, the one I wore to a party last year
...but I'm too lazy. So, the ball gown lies in wait.

3. be watching a re-run of this past week's CSI: Las Vegas programme
However, my dad has other ideas. He's now plopped down in front of his precious television watching an NBA game. NBA Season is over, by the way, so he's watching a re-run. Yep, we in the family loooove re-runs.

4. be helping mom cook lunch.
But I'm still full from breakfast. So, I'm faking a stomach ache.

5. be paying my credit card bills via Internet now.
The stupid credit card company's website is down!!! Grrrrr... if they charge me with another late fee, I'm gonna go on the warpath, I swear to god.

6. be working now.
Okay, bye.

Tah-dah!

My friend Ganns was showing me his new shoes the other day. He blogged about those said shoes, and the owner of the shoe store and/or designer of the shoes himself dropped by on his blog, and ¡VOILA! Ganns tells me that he's getting a new pair of shoes FREE because of the free advertisement he's given to the shoe-guy online.

So, listen up, Mr. Marc Jacobs, Ms. Monique Lhuillier, Mr. Ben Chan, Mr. Jeffrey Lubell, and Mr. Randy Ortiz... consider yourselves advertised on. Hope you drop by! Oh, and it wouldn't hurt, either, if Mr. Henry Sy sees that I'm plugging his SM chain of stores here, too.

I accept anything you're willing to offer.

Aimer Barbara

Lucky 8's

Time.com reports that the best wedding date ever is 07 July 2007, a.k.a. 7/7/7. Not only are Tony Parker and Eva Longoria tying the knot on this day, so are Wolfgang Puck and fiancee Gelila Assefa and ten thousand other regular "Joes" who are marrying their ideal and regular "Janes."

As for me, on 7/7/7 (a Saturday, as LUCK would have it), I would be doing my usual:

1. Convince myself to go to the gym
2. Go pick up the laundry
3. Celebrate my personal holiday called, "It's Pasta Day, Today!"
4. Take a siesta
5. Go home to Quezon City and spend the weekend with the folks who are mourning the gradual loss of their aging brood.

But, I'll plan for something special on 8/8/8. That oughtta be an auspicious day - because (1) it's gonna be a Friday, and (2) my Chinese ancestors bet a whole darned lot on triple 8's (which, when pronounced in Cantonese is "fa, fa, fa," a homonym to the words "luck, luck, luck" in the same language), and succeeded in whatever they've done that had been associated with this "most lucky of numbers." Surely, there'd be something good goin' for me on that day, too.

The OTHER Paris

I was talking to a friend last night after a long day at work. Listen in on our short conversation:


SET: Me and J smoking outside a Starbucks cafe somewhere in Makati, while inhaling carbon dioxide spewed into the air by passing vehicles.

Me: Girl, Paris sure looks great from this point of view.
J: No way! Did you see that latest picture of Paris?
Me: Yeah! I was just googling and daydreaming about it earlier.
J: You were googling about Paris??? Why? Paris is all over the news these days! No need to google about it anymore, sweetie.
Me: Paris is in the news? Oh, you mean about the President's anti-immigration stance?
J: No! About the jail term!
Me: Sarkozy's in jail???? Oh my god!
J: Who the hell's Sarkozy?! I'm talking about Paris!
Me: Me, too! But why would they jail Sarkozy because of his views on immigration?
J: (burning herself with her cigarette ash.) S#@%!
Me: (burning my tongue on my hot coffee) S#@%!
Me: Arggh! Who cares about Sarkozy anyway? I STILL want Paris.
J: (raises her perfectly shaped eyebrow) Are you turning lesbo on me, Kim?



Gawd, what a mixed up conversation that was! Ahahaha!

And, I have nothing against people of the third-sex, but I most certainly am NOT a lesbian.

And, I STILL want Paris (France). *** Sigh. *** Don't you just love love love Fridays?

21st Century Taboo (Adobo-Style)

MSN UK recently listed ten 21st century taboos in an opinion article (read it here), and asked its readers which one(s) they’re guilty of. Ticking some of them off one by one, I’d say:

1. I have never given a beggar money – not because I’m a Scrooge, but because crime syndicates rampantly use the “Help-me-I’m-poor” ploys and some greedy lazy parents criminally use their kids in the “Help-me-I’m-young-AND-poor” gambits here in Metro Manila. I have, however, once given a poor tattered-looking boy my packed sandwich when he had approached my car that was, at that time, stuck in traffic. That wasn’t taboo, Mr. MSN. That was… uhm, me sticking to my no-carbo diet.
2. I am a deeeeee-voe-ted Princess Diana fan. I have an altar dedicated to her in my closet [because I don’t want anyone to see it :-)]. Never would I ever malign her name. Shame on those who would!
3. I like gentlemen. Opening doors for women is not a taboo. It’s common courtesy. Heck, I’D open a door for another woman, if (a) she’s older than me and (b) she’s overburdened with ten million things in her arms. Kill me with a spoon whydontcha, if you disagree.
4. Lennon’s “Imagine” is a classic. It is an idealistic piece of shmooze, and is number 23 on my computer’s digital music player list. I’ve also got “Hey Jude” on my song list… What can I say? I’m a quasi-Beatle-Fan reincarnate.
5. I am an advocate of non-fat milk. Whenever I drink it, I feel like I didn’t gain an ounce. It doesn’t mean I’ve actually lost weight, but I feel like I did. Therefore, I am a staunch advocate of non-fat milk.

With regards to the five other taboos listed - I gotta admit I have absolutely no idea what the guy was talking about anymore, since they’re too “British” for me to relate to, but here are some that people of my culture and in my society would most probably consider taboo in the 21st century:
a. Wearing t-shirts over your bikinis on the beach.

Why’d you buy a bikini in the first darned place, honey?

b. Singing “Thriller” at your favourite karaoke bar.

Let’s face it. That Michael Jackson song really fits Michael Jackson’s vocal range and Michael Jackson’s alone. Your “hoohoos” and “heehees” would never sound like Jackson’s. Give it up. Try singing something by Ne-Yo now. I hear his song “Irreplaceable” is quite a hit. Especially if you’re drunk.

c. Begging.

Right now, I believe they call this act “Selling.”

d. Playing with real marbles and real Barbie dolls.

PS3’s and laptops, according to the general up-to-date consensus from ten-year-old kids and kids-at-heart, are way cooler than boring old games like these. Besides, ancient things like marbles are no longer being manufactured, and Barbie dolls are for older women and gay men who collect such things as memorabilia of their once-upon-a-time youth.

e. Eating with your hands.

One word? Ewww.

f. Using hairspray

Like, oh my gosh! Haven’t you ever heard of, like, CFCs?
Or is it CCFs?
I, like, could never get that dangerous thingamajig’s name straight. But, like, my gosh!
Haven’t you heard of them, like, at all???

g. Consuming meat.
See letter “f.”

h. Speaking only one language.
Yes, I understand you’re a true-blue Filipino, man. I know exactly how you feel. But, you just GOTTA learn how to speak English well, man. You just GOTTA. Please understand: “piss” and “peace” DO NOT RHYME, man. They just don’t, you know what I mean?

i. Getting married at the church where your parents got married in.
This was soooooooooo ten minutes ago – that tradition died together with Mandy Moore in the movie “A Walk To Remember.”

j. Getting married.
Period.

Allergic to Love

To Tina Turner, my heartfelt thanks. When I first heard her sing “huwaaaaat’s love got tah do / got tah do with it,” my four-year-old brain immediately connected with the lyric, and it became a strong testament to my then sponge-like absorption of things new: “What’s Love Got To Do With It” was the very first song I sang in one of my countless recitals as a kid. I even kept the Tina outfit I wore (no wig back then – too gauche, my voice teacher thought), in memoriam of that particularly embarrassing three-and-a-half minute worth of fame, an experience among numerous others, which I would not care to repeat in future lives.

Now, twenty years later, I think that Tina said the most brilliant thing and sang the most heartfelt song ever. Ember Anne blogged about something similar on her own site (which, weirdly and eeringly, sounds like my own life story being told – by another person whom I’ve never met before) and it got me thinking about two things: (1) what, indeed, does love got tah do with anything, and (2) am I allergic to relationships?

I have girlfriends who have/had bad relationships. Their stories range from coping with temperamental/jealous/unfaithful boyfriends/husbands, to living with woman-beating s#%* heads, to giving their hearts to lying, cheating men who are in “wedded bliss” with other women. Because I love these lady friends who trust me enough to tell their stories to, their influence and their lessons have a profound effect on me.

Because of them, I think I’m afraid to take risks and let myself go.

Add to that the fact that I read blogs by women like Girlie Monkey and Mindy in Minneapolis – and I think, if svelte smooth sexy women like them (at least that’s how I perceive them to be) have trouble in the dating world, what more for me???

I try to forget about the horrible experiences(sssssss) I’ve had with the opposite sex back when I was a teen, but it’s not easy especially when I see a piece of monay (a big round-shaped piece of bread). I laugh now at the awful nicknames given to me by the boys back then, but…

Sometimes they’re still objects of my nightmares, you know?

And then, I read blogs like:

• Chrissy’s Life on Manitoulin, where a poor character named “hubby” is awoken at two o’clock in the morning to save a rain-soaked cat (he was smart enough to just roll back to sleep, though);
• Jimmy’s UncivilOne, where he captures images from websites his ex-wife likes and pastes them onto his own blog (awwwww, how shuweet);
• Curiosity Killer’s custom-made site, where she talks about her extraordinary life in Hong Kong (I’ve never come across a “love”-related issue/angst yet in her blog, so please DON’T correct me if I’m wrong);
• Ganns Deen’s personal site, where he posts songs of praise and love, and shares stories about his life-made-in-heaven with wife "C," son "N1," car Gigi, and soon-to-be daughter "N2"; and,
• PJ’s Tech Shark blog, where words like “halubshu” and “mahal” dedicated to a woman named Conne abound.

So, in answer to my own concerns…
(1) What’s love got tah to do with it, Tina? ANS: Everything.
(2) Am I allergic to relationships? ANS: Yes. But I try and “cure” myself of this allergy through daily doses of bullet-points one to five, mentioned above. Thanks to them, hope remains.