On one of our sojourns to the Ice Vodka Bar in Greenbelt 3 on an early Friday evening, three of my friends and I reacquainted ourselves with Liza, one of the bar waitresses, and dunked our collective angst in booze and cigarette smoke. We were, once again, taking horrible advantage of the bar’s PhP395+ (roughly around US$8.78+) drink-all-you-can vodkatinis, which are headily combined with a salmon pizza that’s good for one’s supper. You oughtta tell by now that my MadDoggerz and I spend plenty of time and money on this awesome promo package that the bar offers its patrons during its lean hours, 1800H to 2100H.However, it was on this fateful Friday that I heard one of the weirdest songs I’ve ever heard. Ne-Yo sang his hit tune “Irreplaceable,” which he had originally written for Beyoncé. When the song’s Intro beats started blaring from the bar’s humongous speakers, everyone on the dance floor started their usual bump and grind, but instead of the normal “To the left / to the left” lyric, Ne-Yo sang:
“To the right / to the right
Everything you own in a box to the right
In the closet / Yeah, that’s my stuff
So, if I bought it / Bitch, don’t touch…”
It was already 2200H when Ne-Yo assertively screamed these words through my fuzzy brains (I wouldn’t blame me for being a wee bit buzzed by this time – I’d started on the vodka drinks at 1800H, for cryin’ out loud). So, I then happily pointed out to my friends that Ne-Yo f***ed up his own lyric, resolutely sang my own completely indecipherable words in time with the song’s beat, and purposefully struggled off of my bar stool to dance drunkenly in front of two very sexy guys.
I was told that no more than two minutes passed when my companions (read: ex-friends)
forcibly pushed me out of the bar door, hailed the first cab they saw, and dumped me with the poor, hapless taxi driver. I distinctly remember waving goodbye to the two aforementioned hotties, but I don’t think they waved back. I also think I ruined a pair of good fuck-me shoes that night, but I don’t remember where I’d put them now.…
Come to think of it, I don’t even remember if all these things really happened to me on this supposed Friday night. Gawd, I hope not, coz I just blogged about it to the whole wide world.
11 comments:
Kim
I don't know what to say? I know.....what are "good f*#k-me shoes? And how did you lose them?
My pair of "f@#!k me shoes" were midnight black and had peep-toe openings at the tip and sharp pointed heels that were about four-inches high. They're named as such because... well, because they're very, uhm, "effective," to say the least. Let's leave it at that, shall we, Uncivil? I wrote this post last Friday, when I was still semi-drunk, and only decided to post it last night. Obviously, I didn't re-edit. :)
As to how I lost them... I distinctly remember taking the shoes off at one point during my drunken haze, but I just don't remember WHERE I took off the darned tootin' things! Since I can't find them anywhere in the condo, I am presuming that somewhere in the metro, a taxi driver is either (1) unaware that he has a pair of black heeled ladies' shoes in the back of his cab, or (2) aware that he HAD these fabulous pair of expensive-looking shoes a lady passenger left behind and that he sold them to someone else and earned money for his "luck."
A day in the life, huh?
What size shoes do you wear? Maybe I'll go and take you out drinking next time.
LOL!!! OMG...you crack me up! I have been to Greenbelt (in Makati, right?). I can't get over how cheap the all you can drink prices are!!! Then again, I also couldn't believe that for 47 pesos, I got to eat a longsilog breakfast in Puerto Galera! Crazy!! That's like ONE U.S. dollar for breakfast!!!
hmmmmm sounds sexy......I guess I need to have more of a shoe fetish!
I've always loved womens legs more than any other part of their body. I know.....I should have said brains? Oh, well....I'm just a man!
I did a crazy post tonight. I hope my aunt Gretchen doesn't read it!
Hey CK!
I'm a size 6. If we ever do go drinking together, just remind me to tuck my shoes under my arms before I get drunk, will ya? I miss those shoes, girl. :((
Hi Chrissy!
Yeah, you'd go nuts over the Greenbelt mall prices, especially if you're earning in currencies higher in value than the Philippine Peso. However, if you were in MY place, you'd cry and get drunk as fast as you could, too, if you earn merely in PHP.
My dear Uncivil One,
I actually appreciate men who appreciate women's legs. On my part, I know I SHOULD say that I like men's brains the best, too, but hey, the truth is that I like that meaty part on men's bodies that connect their torsos to their thighs. But that's just me.
Goin' over to your blog now. How old is Auntie Gretchen, anyway? And, she knows how to surf the Net??? Pretty darned impressive if she does.
Kim
Aunt Gretchen is late 60's.
I found this little ditty, and couldn't resist. You'll see why at the end (number 11).
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.
"meaty part on men's bodies that connect their torsos"
Are you saying you like men's A$$'es?
Uncivil
Yep - numbers 7 to 10 sound very very familiar.
And no! I was not referring to the a$$! (Although I have to say, men's tooshies are quite attractive, too). I was actually referring to the front side--- not the organ... arrrrgh, this is hard to explain, I'll find a picture and e-mail it you. What's your addie?
Are you talking about his abdominal muscles? Or below the Abs without the organ attachment?
I don't know if I want to see this picture? I'm homophobic!LOL
imuncivil at hotmail dot com
HAHAHAHAHHA!!! I just love Uncivil's dictionary for decoding men's English! The reason I love it because not only is it funny, but it's SO true! LOL!
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